Virginia Woolf wrote about the longing for a room of her own – a space where she could find time for her thoughts. I think this still resonates with many women because sacrifice and putting everybody elses needs first still seems to be deeply embedded into the concept of womanhood (no matter that we’re living in 2012).
Don’t know about you, dear readers, but I certainly feel, at times, that my main role in life is to patch up: after kids, husband, dog, the odd friend in need… Some time soon I’ll be able to add aging parents to the list as well.
A part of me feels guilty about even writing that; after all, I chose to have a family, I want to work for my relationship and I want to help my friends and parents if I can. And of course all children deserve being taken care of and loved unconditionally. And hey, I’m not saying I don’t want to do it – it’s just that I wish (like Virginia) that it wasn’t all I did.
For most of us it’s important to find our own, private space and men are usually better at doing just that. Could be that’s because nobody questions their right to have it – be it working all-nighters, obsessing about a hobby or spending time with the lads?
I’ve found my “room” in yoga. Sometimes I’m obsessive about it and decidedly put it first – instead of doing something with the kids, cleaning up after them or checking homework. Because I’ve seen (like many before me) that going to my “room” means I come back a better mother, wife and friend.
To be blunt: if I didn’t take that time, I’d probably be in the nut house by now. So you see, us women really don’t have a choice either. Please make the space – because you’re worth it!