Gym Depression

Ok, so now I’m fed up. For almost a year I’ve been a member of a nearby gym. Before joining I did quite a bit of research, since I’m in good shape and have fairly specific demands. I didn’t want just your average “shake-your-booty-a-little-bit” kind of classes, but serious hardcore workouts and specifically advanced yoga and Pilates, which – correct me if I’m wrong – seem to be THE thing everywhere else. I also wanted to find a gym close to home, because the thought of driving to workouts has always seemed a bit silly to me.

Unfortunately I made the mistake of buying the gym sales speech, assuring me that they definitely could cater for the needs of a person in search of “more demanding athletic pursuits”. Now, having been a member for 2 seasons and being equally disappointed with the offered schedule both times, I’ve decided to call it a day. Because apparently I’m just too fit to fit in. There simply isn’t anything on offer which could match what I can do on my own.

No matter which gym chain you turn to, the only classes offered are different varieties of low tempo aerobics (too slow, can’t work up a sweat), spinning/cycling classes which I hate (cramped up on bikes indoors listening to the instructor fabricating stories about “taking the next mountain” – I don’t think so…) and zumba , which is a laugh (a make-do-dance for those who are too tired or out of shape to do any real dancing). Oh, and I almost forgot: the fabulous “Body Combat” classes – imagine the fun of wiggling your hips while you’re air punching an invisible enemy – all to the tunes of “It’s Raining Men”. Tallyho…!

Well, I suppose you could say I’m being unfair. Obviously lots of people love these classes – or they wouldn’t be the only ones offered. Or are people just attending them because there’s no alternative? I would make the bold claim that gyms mainly do beginner’s level classes because that’s where they want people to stay. They want you to pay full yearly membership, but only make use of it for short periods (like August and January :-)). After a six month break they’ll welcome you back – only to start at beginner’s level again.

This season my chosen gym actually managed to squeeze 2 weekly yoga sessions into the schedule. One of them is too beginner’s level for me – even if I’m in good shape I still want to see some development. The other one is actually very good – but is it worth paying 75€ a month for? Nope, because for that price I could have the instructor give me private tuition. Which is probably what I’ll end up doing instead.

So goodbye gym chains it is. From now on I’ll save my money and stick to my own schedule – which beats theirs any day.

And after having done a couple of years of endless beginner’s level, you might consider joining me. Let’s roll out those yoga mats guys!

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